I am a sinner and that's why I need Jesus Christ!

 Yesterday was Easter Sunday and toward the evening I was hit with this all-encompassing realization, I am sinner! This was different than previous times because frankly I think this thought numerous times daily, but yesterday it was almost a death sentence. I felt unworthy, dirty, evil, and remorseful for the "bad" I have done in my life. I fell into a depression whereas I didn't want to talk to anybody, but God. 

My "talking to God" usually entails disorganized blends of actual spoken words with thoughts, and yesterday it was as if I took a truthful assessment of my life and I felt guilt, and it sucked. 

Or did it? 

Immediately, I went to the internet and started searching for videos on Why Christians feel guilty? I mean I shouldn't, right? I'm forgiven, but then I questioned "Am I forgiven?", have I repented, etc. It was an awful ending to a nice Easter celebration. I had had a couple beers with a good friend on my patio, and then I questioned that, I looked at the history of my failed marriage and my behavior that led to that, more guilt. I was a mess. Then I stumbled on an article from a man named R.C. Sproul (he's since passed) about a period in his life when he struggled with guilt and what he learned was that just because Christians have guilt "feelings" doesn't mean they're not forgiven. What are you going to trust? Who are you going to trust? God says in his word: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Like R.C. I needed to KNOW the difference between my feelings and God's word. 

You see IF you don't have Christ in your life, you are not REALLY grounded in truth. You are NOT living according to what the almighty living God wants for YOUR VERY BEST. God does not desire that we go through life plagued with guilt and feeling depressed. It's exactly for this reason that God brings himself to us through Jesus Christ. We are all sinners, and we all need forgiveness. I am so disgusted with myself for the times in my life I have willfully turned my back on God and pursued my own selfish desires. This has hurt many people including myself and I wish I could take back ALL the sinful deeds I have done and the hurt it has caused, but I cannot. 

I am a sinner and that's why I need Jesus Christ!